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An acquaintance of my servant’s (or rather her admirer) came to see her and dined with me… In the afternoon I rode to Folkington (with Mr Laurence Thornton) to get in a debt, but was not successful. Came home about 6:10 quite wet through.

In the evening Joseph Fuller Jr smoked a pipe with me. Almost distracted with trouble. How do I hourly find the loss I have sustained in the death of my dear wife!

…I dined on some mutton chops fried and cucumbers. In the afternoon rode out to collect in some debts, but got not one farthing. In the evening read part of Sharp’s sermons. A prodigious hot day, I think as hot a one as I ever knew, without it was when we had thunder etc.

Ah, melancholy situation; who can know the value of a sincere friend but those who have been once in full possession of it and then lose it forever.

Paid Richard Piper 17/3 in full for 30½ lbs of wool bought of him today… In the forenoon Mr Sterry and a gentlemen, a hop-factor, called on me and dined with me on a piece of bacon, a plain bread pudding and some carrots and French beans. After dinner I paid Mr Sterry…13.16.0…in full… Mr Sterry and his friend went away immediately after dinner.

At home all day and pretty busy. In the evening wrote my London letters. How do I sincerely lament the loss of my wife! Oh, how I stand in need of that sincere friendship which was between us!… [29 words omitted].

Myself and servants at church in the morning… I dined or the remains of yesterday’s dinner hashed. In the afternoon myself and servants at church… In the evening I took a walk and supped with Thomas Davy.

…This day Thomas Davy’s marriage with the widow Virgoe (which was solemnized at this parish church on Tuesday last) was made known, though when he dined with me, it was what I had no thoughts of, only as I know it would be soon. Joseph Fuller smoked a pipe with me in the evening.

…Mr Sam Gibbs sent me a present of a shoulder of venison, for which I gave his son 12d. Dame Durrant drank tea with me.

Oh. how distracted and tumultuous are my thoughts; fearing I [copying faded] wrong proceeding, or by the badness of trade, miscarry in my trade, and at the same being so embarrassed in my family connections that I hardly know how to act with the most prudence. I would gladly pursue that which is the most commendable and at the same time most to the advantage of myself and at the same time be a useful member of the community to which I belong.

Balanced accounts with Mr John Gosling and paid him 1.5.0 in full. I dined at Master Durrant’s on a shoulder of venison roasted… In the forenoon went down to Mr Coates’s and delivered to Mr Perry the Duke of Newcastle’s account.

Very melancholy is my present situation. I see by repeated instances that to continue my trade as I am it will not do, for there is no dependence upon servants and to think of marrying again is what I have no thoughts of; no, not so long as the image of my dear wife is almost continual in my thoughts. May it ever be in my thoughts and have that effect upon my mind as to make me studious of performing every good work through the power of God’s grace.

Mr Long dined with me on some pasty. In the evening walked down to Halland, but did not stay. In the evening my brother came over… How distracted is my troubled mind, but still let me reflect on the goodness of divine Providence to me in protecting me from harm when I had left the entire use of my reason and senses…

[39 words omitted].

Mr long dined at my house on the remains of Sunday’s dinner. Mrs Coates sent me a present of a veal pasty. Oh, I am intolerable bad; my conscience quite tears me in pieces.

Mr Tomlin and my brother breakfasted with me, and then we all set out together, he on his road to Withyham, and my brother and I to Lewes. I paid Mr Madgwick 52/- in full for 4 pairs breeches bought of him today. I also gave him in cash £70, for l bill dated today, payable to me or order, 21 days’ date, on Mr Will Margesson. I called on Mrs Roase.

I came home so very much in liquor that I cannot tell any one thing how I came home, nor do I know if I paid my reckoning before I came away. Oh, what a poor unhappy wretch I am; I am quite distracted with trouble. Oh, how does this one piece of folly and indiscretion torment my mind. My brother went home in the evening. My brother Moses came over in the evening, but did not stay. Very bad all the evening. Oh, my heavy and troubled mind; oh, my imprudence pays me with trouble!