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My brother came over in the forenoon and cut me out a few linings. We dined on the remains of yesterday’s dinner. At home all day; lodged in at Dame Durrant’s. Dame Durrant and Betty Mepham stayed with my servants. Ah, how melancholy my situation; but may I make a right use of my trouble. M[a]y I forever labor to obtain a religious temper of mind.

Rec’d of Joseph Fuller 1 forequarter of lamb weighing 12½ lbs.

I dined on the remains of yesterday’s dinner, with the addition of a hog’s cheek boiled and gooseberry pudding. Oh, how melancholy my situation. Not a friend to pour that pleasing balm of consolation into a heart overwhelmed with grief, no, nor one enlivening object gains admittance in my distracted breast. There, oh, there is naught but melancholy and pensive sadness! What can give pleasure or present one pleasing idea to my mind since she for whom I lived and in whom I centered all earthly happiness is now no more? Oh could I forever sing her praise and describe her virtues, it would be a task (though pleasing to my mind) for beyond the reach of my understanding. But let me call home my wandering thoughts and reflect that man, poor frail and mortal man, is born to trouble as the sparks fly upwards; then why should I who am a vile and sinful creature be exempt from that which our whole race is subject to? No, rather let me rejoice and give thanks, that Providence directs all things with infinite goodness and wisdom, for the Lord will not forsake forever, but though he send affliction, yet will he have compassion according to the multitude of his mercies. For he does not punish willingly nor afflict the children of men.

In the morning my father Slater came to see me and to condole and sympathize with me in my misfortunes, a thing truly humane and friendly, and he with my worthy friend George Richardson stayed and breakfasted with me and then went away.

I rode with my father Slater in his road home as far as Framfield, but did not stay. I dined on the remains of yesterday’s dinner. In the afternoon rode to Lewes, drank tea with Mr Madgwick and came home about 8:20…

About 1:50 it pleased Almighty god to take from me my beloved wife, who, poor creature, has labored under a severe though lingering illness for these 38 weeks past, which she bore with the greatest resignation to the divine will. In her I have lost a sincere friend and virtuous wife, a prudent and good economist in her family and a very valuable companion (and one endued with more than a common share of good sense).

I will once more say she was virtuous even in the most strictest sense of the word virtue: she was always decent in her apparel and remarkably sweet and cleanly in her person, and had by nature a cheerful though religious turn of mind. Therefore I have lost an invaluable blessing, a wife who, had it pleased God to have given her health, would have been of more real excellence to me then the greatest fortune this world can give.

Oh, may her agonizing pains and dying groans have such a constant impression on my mind that (through the assistance of God’s grace) I may ever have the thought of death in my mind, and that by a truly religious course of life may be prepared to meet that King of Terrors; may the memory of her virtues always excite in me a love of that which is good and virtuous, and may I endeavor to copy the many excellencies she was undoubtedly possessed of; therefore I may justly say with the incomparable Mr Young: “Let them who have ever lost an angel pity me.”

We dined on the remains of yesterday’s dinner. My friend George Richardson came to advise me in the evening, and stayed with me all night, and both of us lodged at Master Durrant’s. Dame Durrant and Bett Mepham stayed with my servants.

My brother came over in the forenoon and he and Dame Durrant dined with us on part of neck of veal roasted and green salad. My brother stayed with me till about 4:10.

Dame Durrant and Bett Mepham with my wife all day, who is, poor creature, so extreme bad that should I think even drew tears from the most obdurate heart breathing to see her. Lucy Mepham sat up with my wife. I lodged in at Joseph Durrant’s.

My friend Mr Tucker and my father Slater came to see us in the forenoon and both dined with us on a piece of veal boiled, a piece of pork, a gooseberry pudding and spinach. They both went home in the evening.

Dame Durrant and Bett Mepham with my wife all day and also sat up with her all night, who is so sad that it is past description and we do not expect her to live from one minute to the other. Myself lay at Master Durrant’s.

Paid Mr Howard at Hartfield 8/- in full for ginger-bread and sweethearts received by him today… My brother came over in the evening and sat with me some time.

About 11:20 my wife was taken with a strong convulsive fit which lasted some time. Dame Durrant and Elizabeth Mepham sat up with my wife, and I lodged at Dame Durrant’s. Oh, my unhappy misfortune. I shall lose all that is desirable to me in this world; my only true and sincere friend, a treasure of more value than all the riches this world can afford, she has ever been a virtuous and discreet women and to me the best of wives.

After breakfast my cousin Hill went away. Dame Durrant sat with my wife all day and dined with us on a piece of pork boiled, a gooseberry pudding and greens. Paid Mr Ben Shelley in cash £1 in full for the same sum he paid Mr John Bumstead in full on my account this week. I also received a receipt of him from Mr George Otway for the £10 I delivered to him the 16th instant.

Molly Fuller sat up with my wife, who is perhaps as bad as can be and alive. Oh, my trouble who can paint or describe?

Mr Porter and I balanced accounts with Mr Richard Stone and received of him 6.19.2 in full for interest due on a bond due to Will Piper deceased and John Piper, out of which said sum £4 is due to John Piper, excepting a bill for doctoring of 2/6 which we outset; the remainder of 2.19.2 I have in my own care, and I accordingly have sent John Piper by Thomas Bristow the £4 (including the bill of 2/6).

We dined on the remains of yesterday’s dinner. In the afternoon my friend and cousin Charles Hill came to see me and stayed with us all night. In the evening my brother Moses came to see me and stayed and supped with me. My wife, poor creature, so ill that I even think it beyond imagination to form an idea of her sufferings.

We dined on the remains of yesterday’s dinner. Dame Durrant drank tea with us. At home all day.

This day Mr Porter administered the communion to my wife and self and servant, and as this in all human probability will be the last time we shall ever commemorate (together in this world) the death of our blessed Savior and Redeemer Jesus Christ, so may the memory of it be a motive to spur me on through God’s grace to prepare for eternity (may that awful thought be the first in my mind).