Very busy all the morning. Paid Thomas Fuller 9/- for a stone of beef received today. We dined on the remains of yesterday’s dinner with a piece of boiled beef, an apple pudding and turnips. After dinner our servants went to Blackboys Fair and stayed all night. There was a public vestry held at Jones’s, to which I went, but not being very well I did not stay to conclude upon anything, but came home immediately. Thomas Davy at our house in the evening, and he and I played a few games of cribbage; I won 1d.
This day how are my most sanguine hopes of happiness frustrated! I mean in the happiness between myself and wife, which has now some time been continued between us, but, oh, this day become the contrary! The, unhappiness I which has, almost ever since we were married, been between us has raised such numberless animosities and disturbances–and among our friends–that I think it has almost brought me to ruin. What the cause of it is I cannot judge. I cannot judge so ill of my wife as to think she is only to blame, and I think I have tried all experiments to make our lives happy, but they all have hitherto failed of their end. I can see nothing that so much contributes to our unhappiness as an opposition that proceeds from a contrariness or at least spitefulness of temper, but an opposition that seems indicated by our very make and constitution…
This day received a letter from Mr George Hodges & Co., who keep the new state lottery office in Cornhill, that the ticket belonging to my wife… was drawn a blank on Monday last.