This morning about 6 o’clock, just as my wife was gladly got to bed and had laid herself down to rest, we were awakened by Mrs Porter, who pretended she wanted some cream of tartar. But as soon as my wife got out of bed, she vowed she should come down, which she complied with and found her, Mr Porter, Mr Fuller and his wife with a lighted candle, part of a bottle of wine and a glass.
Then the next thing in course we must be to have me downstairs, which I being apprized of, fastened my door. But, however, upstairs they came, and threatened and also attempted to break open my door, which I found they would do; so I therefore ordered the boys to open it. But as soon as ever it was open, they poured-into my room, and as modesty forbid me not to get out of my bed in the presence of the women, so I refrained. But their immodesty permitted them to draw me out of bed (as the common phrase is) tipsy turvy. However, at the intercession of Mr Porter, they permitted me to put on my breeches (though it was no more than to cast a veil over what undoubtedly they had before that time discovered). And also, instead of my clothes, they gave me time to put on my wife’s petticoat. In this manner they made me dance with them without shoes or stockings until they had emptied their bottle of wine and also a bottle of my beer. They then contented themselves with sitting down to breakfast on a dish of coffee etc.
They then obliged my wife to accompany them to Joseph Durrant’s, where they again breakfasted on tea etc. They then all adjourned to Mr Fuller’s, where they again breakfasted on tea. There they also stayed, and dined, and about 3:30 they all found their ways to their respective homes, beginning by that time to be a little serious, and in my opinion ashamed of their stupid enterprise, or drunken perambulation. Now let anyone but call in reason to his assistance and seriously reflect on what I have before recited, and they must I think join with me in thinking that the precepts delivered from the pulpit on Sundays by Mr Porter, though delivered with the greatest ardor, must lose a great deal of their efficacy by such examples.
Myself and family at home dined on the remains of yesterday’s dinner. Mr Jordan called on me but did not stay. Mr Elless and Joseph Fuller in the evening called in to ask me how I did after my fatigue and stayed and smoked a pipe with me. And so this ends the silliest frolic I think I ever knew, and one that must cast an odium on Mr and Mrs P—– and Mrs F—– so long as it shall be remembered.