Wednesday, September 27 1758

In the morning my brother and self set out for Eastbourne where we arrived about 7:30. We breakfasted at Mr Sam Beckett’s, where we also dined on a shoulder of lamb roasted with onion sauce and potatoes (my family at home dining on a sheep’s head, lights etc. boiled; Master Watford, being at work for us, dined with then).

We came home about 10:20, but not sober, and I may say by the providence of God my life was preserved. For being very drunk, my horse took the wrong way and ran into a traverse with me and beat me off, [but?] thanks be to God, received no damage. Oh, what a poor creature I am after so many weak endeavors to prevent getting in liquor, that I must still remain so silly! What can I say, or what shall I do? I still think and even strive to prevent my weakness in this point, but how frail are the endeavors of poor mortals. Oh, how does sin abound in the flesh! Therefore how much and how earnest should our prayers be to be endued with the Holy Spirit of God! Only let me reflect how often I have (when I have been in liquor) been protected by the providence of Almighty God and rescued as it were from the jaws of death and received no hurt. And how many instances do we almost daily see of peoples’ receiving hurt when in liquor; nay, even death itself has often, too, too often been their unhappy lot. Therefore how loudly does the protecting providence of Almighty God call on me to break off my sins by repentance and to become a new creature! For can I think myself more righteous than many poor unhappy creatures who have often fallen as victims to their intemperance and debaucheries? No, I am not. I am a sinner and a poor frail child of the dust. I even loathe and abhor myself. My very best actions are sinful. Therefore how can I look up to the Almighty for mercy or hope for his blessing on my temporal concerns so long as I abound in sin and wickedness. Let me therefore pray for the Holy Spirit of Christ that I may ask such things as be proper for me and that I may never more be guilty of such crimes—crimes which must inevitably bring me to destruction both of soul and body and if my own conscience condemn me thus, what can I expect? For God is greater than my conscience and knoweth all things. My brother stayed at our house all night.

Spent this journey0.3.0
Bought 10 whiting0.0.4

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