Sunday, October 8 1758

Myself and servant both at church in the morning. We dined on a piece of bacon and chick boiled with some carrots and after dinner I and Thomas Davy walked over to Framfield where I stayed at my mother’s till past 6 o’clock.

Thomas Davy spent the evening with me, to whom I read 2 of Tillotson’s sermons. Oh, the intolerable and tormenting pang of a breast filled with horror like mine! If I look back, I can see the time when I was really happy, but if I take a view of some few years that are just gone past, as also the present tire, together with the prospect of future time (so far as we poor mortals can judge), how unhappy and miserable is the prospect! Thus by one imprudent step I have ruined, in all probability, my happiness for ever. Oh, women, ungrateful women! thou that art the last and most completest of the creation and designed by Almighty God for comfort and companion to mankind, to smoothe and make even the rough and uneven paths of this life art often, ah! too, too often the very bane and destroyer of our felicity. Thou not only takest away our happiness, but givest us in lieu thereof trouble and vexation of spirit.

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