Saturday, December 19 1761

Came home about 2:10. My brother went away immediately. My family at home dined on a piece of pork, an apple pudding and turnips… Oh, could I say I went sober to bed. Oh, how does my tormented mind suffer anguish — but let me quite, oh let me for ever conquer this easy temper; let me fix my resolution and with divine assistance let me pluck as it were out a right eye; that is, let me endeavor never more to be guilty of this folly. Oh, how do I detest myself; let me repent in dust and ashes, and once more try to obtain a victory over my unruly passions.

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