After breakfast I set out for a place called Winfield Stocks in order to meet my late servant Sarah Weller, agreeable to an appointment previously made, where we both arrived about 10 o’clock. I stayed and talked with her about two hours and came for home where I arrived about 2:20. My servant dined at home on the remains of yesterday’s dinner, and as for myself, I ate not any dinner…
How should those minutes of my journey ever come to any person’s eye, or should my journey come to be known publicly to the world (that I took upon me such a journey, and for no other reason than purely to see an old servant), why I doubt not but they will very readily conclude she was his sweetheart, or if not so favourably disposed in their censure, perhaps the sagacious eye of scandal may see in it something worse. But however, they will be wrong for once in both conjectures. For I can with most sincerest truth assure them it was neither, but as my servant had not received so good usage from her uncle, whom to oblige and serve, as she thought, she left my service, therefore in a letter I received from her since she left my service, she begged I would so far condescend as to come to Catsfield. Which I, not approving of, appointed this place. For as she was destitute of any friends to consult or advise with, she sent to me and now begged she might come to my service again in the spring if I was not provided with a servant before that time.
Now pray let me ask what harm or courting is there in all this? Why, if I may truly speak, just none at all. But now I am endeavoring to vindicate my character from any aspersions that the malevolent tongue of envy or ill-will may strive to blacken it with (as I have had demonstration they were not wanting in their best endeavors that way). I positively declare I have not, since that fatal day which deprived me of all, all this earth can ever give to make me happy (I mean that melancholy day which took from me my wife), ever once made my addresses to any one of the fair sex. No! I have not, not-withstanding the busy world have made it their business to proclaim the contrary–and that with some vehemence of clamor, for such only it really was. Not that I have taken up any resolution to celibacy, for I can with truth declare marriage to be the only state that I found any happiness in and at the same time assert I hardly think I have had one minute’s peace of mind since I have been a widower, if I have been sober and in the calm possession of my reasoning faculty. But as to what liberty the world takes with my fame, I think it not worth my notice so long as my conscience does not join in declaring their censures are just. Therefore let the vain and giddy world talk on as freely as they please of me, and I hope to have grace not to merit anything odious enough to hurt my mind; and if not, I shall think myself no ways the worse for their censure, neither shall I think all their clamor worthy my notice, but permit them to talk on till they are tired, which perhaps it may be said will never be. Why then even let them talk on ad infinitum.
Myself and servant at church in the afternoon… After I had drunk tea, Mr Tipper, Thomas Durrant and myself took a walk for air.