Tuesday, Sptember 26 1758

Paid Joseph Fuller by his son Thomas in cash in full, viz.,

 To 1 1b mutton received the 20th instant0.0.3½
To a leg of lamb received today, 4¾ lbs0.1.4½
To a lamb’s bell received today0.0.6
0.2.2

…Lent Robert Hook my horse to ride to Lewes upon. In the afternoon my brother came over and brought me my mother’s salt sacks and came over again in the evening and stayed all night. After supper we went down to John Watford’s and hired his horse for my brother to ride to Eastbourne upon tomorrow. In the evening Joseph Fuller Jr at my house, to whom I sold my colt for 4.4.0, and received of him in part 1.1.0.

Wednesday, September 27 1758

In the morning my brother and self set out for Eastbourne where we arrived about 7:30. We breakfasted at Mr Sam Beckett’s, where we also dined on a shoulder of lamb roasted with onion sauce and potatoes (my family at home dining on a sheep’s head, lights etc. boiled; Master Watford, being at work for us, dined with then).

We came home about 10:20, but not sober, and I may say by the providence of God my life was preserved. For being very drunk, my horse took the wrong way and ran into a traverse with me and beat me off, [but?] thanks be to God, received no damage. Oh, what a poor creature I am after so many weak endeavors to prevent getting in liquor, that I must still remain so silly! What can I say, or what shall I do? I still think and even strive to prevent my weakness in this point, but how frail are the endeavors of poor mortals. Oh, how does sin abound in the flesh! Therefore how much and how earnest should our prayers be to be endued with the Holy Spirit of God! Only let me reflect how often I have (when I have been in liquor) been protected by the providence of Almighty God and rescued as it were from the jaws of death and received no hurt. And how many instances do we almost daily see of peoples’ receiving hurt when in liquor; nay, even death itself has often, too, too often been their unhappy lot. Therefore how loudly does the protecting providence of Almighty God call on me to break off my sins by repentance and to become a new creature! For can I think myself more righteous than many poor unhappy creatures who have often fallen as victims to their intemperance and debaucheries? No, I am not. I am a sinner and a poor frail child of the dust. I even loathe and abhor myself. My very best actions are sinful. Therefore how can I look up to the Almighty for mercy or hope for his blessing on my temporal concerns so long as I abound in sin and wickedness. Let me therefore pray for the Holy Spirit of Christ that I may ask such things as be proper for me and that I may never more be guilty of such crimes—crimes which must inevitably bring me to destruction both of soul and body and if my own conscience condemn me thus, what can I expect? For God is greater than my conscience and knoweth all things. My brother stayed at our house all night.

Spent this journey0.3.0
Bought 10 whiting0.0.4
0.3.4

Thursday, September 28 1758

My brother stayed and breakfasted with us and then went home… We dined on the remains of yesterday’s dinner. In the evening Joseph Fuller Jr, Joseph Durrant and Thomas Durrant at our house. Rec’d of Joseph Fuller in cash 3.3.0, which with the 1.1.0 received of him the 26th instant is in full for the money which I sold him my colt for… At home all day and busy.

Saturday, September 30 1758

Master Watford the elder at work for me all day; he dined with us on a piece of bacon and some carrots. A-shaking down of apples great part of the day… In the evening, examining the account which Joseph Durrant and I settled the 28th instant, I found their bill undercast 12d, which I went and paid, staying there near half an hour. At home all day and thank God very busy.

Sunday, October 1 1758

Just before churchtime in the forenoon my brother Will came to see me. He and myself not at church (only my wife) this forenoon. My brother dined with us on a leg lamb and a piece of bacon boiled with some carrots. Just before churchtime in the afternoon my brother Moses came over and brought from my mother in cash 12.11.1 in full for a parcel had the 20th March last…

My wife, brother Will and servant at church in the afternoon. My brother Moses went away in churchtime. My brother William stayed and drank tea with us and then went home. In the evening read one of Tillotson’s sermons. Not at church all day, for I am so ashamed that even my very shadow as it were alarms and terrifies me. For I think everyone who looks me in the face thinks of my past misconduct.

Monday, October 2 1758

John Watford Sr at work for me all day. Thomas Davy and John Babcock also a-helping me gather my apples the greater part of the day. They all dined with us on the remains of yesterday’s dinner… In the afternoon walked down to John Browne’s, but did not stay, and in the evening went down to Jones’s to a public vestry where there was only myself, Thomas Fuller, Joseph Burgess and Joseph Durrant. Rec’d of Thomas Fuller the 6/- I spent for the parish on account of Mary Hubbard. Came home sober about 9:40. Paid Mr Blackwell, paper-maker at Hawkhurst, in cash 2.14.0 in full for 12 reams of paper received of him today.