Thomas Turner

Paid Joseph Fuller 6d for a lamb’s head and pluck. I dined on some lamb’s liver and rashers of bacon fried, and some garden beans. Down at Halland today twice. Joseph Fuller and Thomas Durrant smoked a pipe with me in the evening.

My late servant Mary Martin came to see me and dined with me… She stayed and drank tea with me and then went home. Paid Mr Ben Shelley…the sum of 3.19.6 in full for the same sum he paid in London for me this week… Down at Halland today: 5 times…

Mr Tomlin, hop-factor, came to see me in the afternoon… Down at Halland 4 times today. In the evening the Duke of Newcastle and several more noblemen etc. came to Halland and stayed all [night?] Mr Tomlin stayed and lodged at my house, and he and Joseph Fuller Jr smoked a pipe or 2 with me in the evening.

Mr Tomlin and myself at church in the morning… Mr Tomlin and my late servant Mary Martin (who came to see me in the morning) and my brother Sam Slater, who came in just as we were a-sitting down to dinner, dined with me on a piece of bacon and a chick boiled, a leg of lamb roasted and a plain rice pudding.

After dinner we all walked down to Halland, where there was a public day, and we stayed and walked about there till near 8 o’clock. I lodged in at Joseph Durrant’s, and my brother and Mr Tomlin lodged at my house, though not one of us went to bed sober, which folly of mine makes me very uneasy. Oh, that I cannot be a person of more resolution!

Mr Tomlin and my brother breakfasted with me, and then we all set out together, he on his road to Withyham, and my brother and I to Lewes. I paid Mr Madgwick 52/- in full for 4 pairs breeches bought of him today. I also gave him in cash £70, for l bill dated today, payable to me or order, 21 days’ date, on Mr Will Margesson. I called on Mrs Roase.

I came home so very much in liquor that I cannot tell any one thing how I came home, nor do I know if I paid my reckoning before I came away. Oh, what a poor unhappy wretch I am; I am quite distracted with trouble. Oh, how does this one piece of folly and indiscretion torment my mind. My brother went home in the evening. My brother Moses came over in the evening, but did not stay. Very bad all the evening. Oh, my heavy and troubled mind; oh, my imprudence pays me with trouble!

Mr long dined at my house on the remains of Sunday’s dinner. Mrs Coates sent me a present of a veal pasty. Oh, I am intolerable bad; my conscience quite tears me in pieces.

Mr Long dined with me on some pasty. In the evening walked down to Halland, but did not stay. In the evening my brother came over… How distracted is my troubled mind, but still let me reflect on the goodness of divine Providence to me in protecting me from harm when I had left the entire use of my reason and senses…

[39 words omitted].

Balanced accounts with Mr John Gosling and paid him 1.5.0 in full. I dined at Master Durrant’s on a shoulder of venison roasted… In the forenoon went down to Mr Coates’s and delivered to Mr Perry the Duke of Newcastle’s account.

Very melancholy is my present situation. I see by repeated instances that to continue my trade as I am it will not do, for there is no dependence upon servants and to think of marrying again is what I have no thoughts of; no, not so long as the image of my dear wife is almost continual in my thoughts. May it ever be in my thoughts and have that effect upon my mind as to make me studious of performing every good work through the power of God’s grace.

…Mr Sam Gibbs sent me a present of a shoulder of venison, for which I gave his son 12d. Dame Durrant drank tea with me.

Oh. how distracted and tumultuous are my thoughts; fearing I [copying faded] wrong proceeding, or by the badness of trade, miscarry in my trade, and at the same being so embarrassed in my family connections that I hardly know how to act with the most prudence. I would gladly pursue that which is the most commendable and at the same time most to the advantage of myself and at the same time be a useful member of the community to which I belong.

…This day Thomas Davy’s marriage with the widow Virgoe (which was solemnized at this parish church on Tuesday last) was made known, though when he dined with me, it was what I had no thoughts of, only as I know it would be soon. Joseph Fuller smoked a pipe with me in the evening.