Thomas Turner

…I dined on some beef boiled and broth. At home all day and very busy. My servant very ill…In the evening Thomas Davy and I played a few games of cribbage; I won of him 6d.

In the forenoon walked down to Halland with some silver. Rec’d of Mr James Bristed by Joseph Durrant in cash 1.6.0 in full for poor tax and half a year’s land tax due at Lady Day last. Rec’d of Mr French 4.3.0 in full for poor tax.

I dined on some boiled sausage, a plain batter pudding and greens. My brother came over in the afternoon, and he, James Marchant and Dame Alcorn drank tea with me…

–I dined on some calf’s liver fried. Rec’d of Thomas Reeve by the payment of his daughter 21/- in full for poor tax.

Samuel Jenner, coming in the evening, took part of my bed. At home all day and pretty busy. My servant quite indifferent all day.

In the morning I set out for Ticehurst with James Marchant in order to carry him to his parish, which he had sworn upon the said parish, and which Mr French had yesterday taken out an order to remove him to. I arrived at Ticehurst about 9:50 and delivered him to Mr Fuller, a glover there.

I went to church and heard a sermon preached by the Rev Mr Medlicott, vicar of the same parish, from Matthew 5:17: “Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.”

I dined at Mr Noakes’s on a calf’s head and bacon boiled. I must pass over anything more than this I got so very drunk that I came no farther than the Half Moon where I lodged all night, and in coming there I received a fall and hurt myself very much. Had it not been for an overruling Providence I must I think inevitably have been lost. May this, oh, may it for ever prevent my drinking anything stronger than water as my brains were so weak that even the smell of liquor almost makes me drunk.
 

Came home about 10:50. I am such a terror and burden to myself I can say no more than this: was I possessed of the Indies, I think I would dispose of them in exchange for that peace of mind I enjoyed on Saturday evenings more than now.

Delivered to Mr Ben Shelley in cash 40 guineas for him to pay in London for me. I dined on part of a calf’s pluck. Oh, my insupportable mind! Who can support the terrors of a wounded conscience? Oh! do I detest myself! Let me fly to divine justice for mercy and humbly ask grace to prevent my misdoing again.

At home all day. I dined on the remains of yesterday’s dinner. But, alas! who can describe–no, imagination itself can’t paint the anxiety of my mind. I loathe, abhor and even detest myself. Oh, the infirmities and frailty of nature!

At home all day. I dined on some boiled sausages. Oh, how bad are I! Nothing, no, nothing but tumult and outrage is in my breast. May it please God to bless me with a true and real piety that I may never more be guilty of that sin of intemperance.

Mrs Fuller and her 2 daughters drank tea with me.

I dined on some broiled sausages. At home all day… [At home all day]. Oh, my mind, my mind, what can support a man under such an afflicted conscience?

Rec’d of Mr Porter in cash and a bank note 32.11.0 as the following gratuities toward repairing our church:

His own gratuity	10.10.0
The Duke Newcastle’s	21.0.0
Mr Sam Durrant’s	1.1.0
	32.11.0

which sum I am debtor to the parish for.

Paid Joseph Fuller Jr 12d for 4 lbs of veal bought of him today. I dined on some veal boiled and some sausages broiled. At home all day. Wrote out some bills.

But oh, my mind, my mind! I who in the days of yore was happy, happy! in that blessing of a good wife am now quite miserable.

The bank bill I received of Mr Porter today was the same in all respects; with that I received of Mr Burgess the 12th instant except the No. which was H 222.