Thomas Turner

…This day two years ago was the day on which it pleased Almighty God to take from me my dear wife, and in the loss of her I sustained a very great one. During which interval of time the world has many times discovered I have been on the point of marriage. But I am clear in this that I have never yet made any offers of love to any one woman. No, not anything like courting. Notwithstanding the voice of the world has been so much of the contrary opinion. Not that I have made any resolution to live single. No, I have not, for I really think could I meet with a woman whom I really loved, it would be much more conducive to my interest to marry than live single–and I am certain a great deal more to my internal peace and satisfaction of mind and I should hope [it would be also] a means to forward me in a state of piety and religion.

The reason, if I know my own mind, of not seeing a proper object proceeds from that true (and I will boldly say) sincere love I had for my dear Peggy, who has almost continually been in my mind since her death. Such an effect has the remembrance of her had upon my mind that I have thought it next to impossible I could ever like a woman well enough to make her my wife. For methinks when I compare the virtues and graces of my late wife with any of the female sex I have had the opportunity to be conversant with, they far exceed any I have found that they quite obliterate the thoughts of marriage that might otherwise run in my mind [several words obliterated in MS.].

But if I do marry ever again, I am sure of this, that I shall never have a more virtuous and prudent wife than I have already been possessed of. May it be the will of Providence for me to have a good a one– I ask no better. For a more virtuous and deserving woman I never did, or do I think ever shall be, so happy as to be acquainted with.

In the forenoon walked down to Halland with some goods. I dined on the remains of yesterday’s dinner with the addition of a green salad. Paid Mr Benjamin Shelley… [another 4.14.8 for payments in London this week]… Pretty busy in the afternoon. Mrs Cayley and Dame Novice drank tea with me. In the evening read a part of Bishop Beveridge’s Thoughts, which I like prodigiously.

Paid Joseph Fuller 11d for a calf’s head bought of him today. I dined on the remains of yesterday’s dinner with the addition of a green salad. In the afternoon we had a cricket match played upon the common between the married men of this parish and the bachelors (or at least them that pass under that denomination) which was won by the former by 6 wickets.

At home all day and pretty busy. In the evening taken very bad with a pain in the side, which is what I have been subject to. Thomas Durrant took part of my bed.

In the morning my late servant Mary Martin and her sister came to see me and breakfasted with me. They two and myself at church in the morning …My late servant and her sister in dined with me on a calf’s head boiled, a piece of bacon, green salad and a gooseberry pudding.

In the afternoon Mr Long, myself and Thomas Durrant walked to Chiddingly Church where we heard a sermon preached by the Rev Mr Herring, vicar of Chiddingly, from the 11th and 12th verses of the 7th Psalm: “God judgeth the righteous, and God is angry with the wicked every day if he turn not, he will whet his sword; he hath bent his bow, and made it ready.”

After a churchtime we went down to Mr Thatcher’s and drank tea and stayed and smoked a pipe or two. We came home about 9:20. My late servant and her sister and my present servant went in the afternoon to hear a clergyman (lately curate of Laughton but now become [a Methodist] field preacher) where there was I understand a pretty large congregation.

My servants etc. came back and drank tea at my house, and then my late servant and her sister went home.
 

Dame Akehurst a-washing for me all the day. She dined with me on the remains of yesterday’s dinner. At home all day; not very busy. Posted part of my day book and read part of Beveridge’s Thoughts.

In the evening wrote my London letters. Dame Akehurst lodged with my servant all night. My way of life is now quite irregular and not at all agreeable. What pleasure, what happiness is there in a prudent and steady way of life! Such a life was once my happy lot to enjoy. But alas! now I severely know the loss of it.

Dame Akehurst a-washing for me all day… … I dined on part of a loin of mutton roasted in the oven and green salad. Paid Dame Akehurst 18d for 2 days work.

In the evening Joseph Fuller and myself played a game of cricket with Mr. George Bannister and James Fuller for half a crown’s worth of punch which we won very easy. But in being hot, and drinking a pretty – deal of punch, it got into my head; so I came home not sober.

In the forenoon my brother came over, but did not stay any longer than just while I rode upon his horse to Mrs Browne’s and back again.

I must lament my irregular life. Nothing settled, but all confusion. No worthy and valuable friend to trust the management of my affairs to; neither do I hardly know whether I have any such thing as a real friend in the world. I once had such a thing.

I dined on two tench stewed, given me by Thomas Fuller. At home all day, but very little to do. Very stiff and disagreeable to myself upon my game of cricket last night. In the evening read part of Beveridge’s Thoughts.

In the morning my late servant Mary Martin came to stand the shop for me, I having some thoughts of going to Lewes.

In the forenoon rode up to Edward Hope’s, but did not stay. A very wet day; so I did not proceed on my intended journey. My late servant stayed and dined with me on a piece of bacon and light pudding. She also stayed and drank tea with me and then went home. At home most part of the day. Very busy all day.
 

I dined on the remains of yesterday’s dinner. At home all day and pretty busy. In the afternoon Mrs Piper her mother and servant drank tea, buying many things in the shop…

In the evening read part of Bishop Beveridge’s Thoughts. Sam Jenner sat with me some time in the evening. A very lonely melancholy time. No friend to trust the care of my domestic affairs to.

Paid Joseph Fuller 6d for a lamb’s purtenances bought of him today. I dined on some lamb’s liver fried and rashers of bacon and green salad. In the afternoon my friend Mr Tipper came to see me and stayed and drank tea with me and also stayed and spent the evening and took part of my bed… At home all day and thank God very busy. In the evening Joseph Fuller smoked a pipe with me and Mr Tipper.