Thursday, January 1 1756

This day rec’d of Master Piper 1 peck of oats. Samuel Slater stayed all day. Rec’d a letter from Mr James Hodges, wherein he sends to me for money which has been paid these 20 months.

This day my wife and I had a great many words, but for what reason I cannot recount, though doubtless if we could be proper judges of our own actions we should find that we are both but too much to blame and possibly should find all our differences to arise from so trivial a cause that we both might have cause to blush. But oh! was marriage ever designed to make mankind unhappy? No! unless by their own choice. It’s made so by both parties being not satisfied with each other’s merit. But sure this cannot be my own affair, for I married, if I know my own mind, with nothing in view but entirely to make my wife and self happy and to live in a course of virtue and religion and to be a mutual help and assistance to each other, I was neither instigated to marry by avarice, ambition, nor lust. No, nor was I prompted to it by anything; only the pure and desirable sake of friendship. Sure, many of my actions must be convincing proofs of love and friendship (to one who once I hoped to be ever dear to); though other of my actions may doubtless in the eye of the world render me not so, but if in my worst actions were the motives traced up to their first origin I doubt not but my sincere love and friendship would there appear in still more stronger lights. Oh, what am I a-going to say I have done? I have almost made as it were a resolution to make a separation, I mean by settling my affairs and parting in friendship, out is this that for what I married? Oh, how are my views frustrated from the prospect of a happy and quiet life to the enjoyment of one that is quite the opposite! Oh, were I but endued with the patience of Socrates; then might I be happy, but as I am not I will endeavor to pacify myself with the cheerful reflection that I am well assured I have done to my utmost to render our union happy, easy, good and comfortable to ourselves and progeny.

Tuesday, December 30 1755

…Mr Porter came and informed me that he had received advice from his tenant in [Essex] that there was 30.13.0 paid to Messrs Margesson and Collison on my account. After dinner Master Durrant and I went to Mr Miller’s… We came home about 8:25; overtook Master Dapp near Edward Russell’s, very much in liquor, but he came home with us. Master Durrant stayed and smoked one pipe with me after he came home. Paid Elizabeth Mepham 6d for making a round frock… Rec’d of William Sinden ½ bushel of wheat.

Monday, December 29 1755

Dr Snelling went away after breakfast. I paid him half a crown for cutting my seton and likewise am to pay John Jones for his [Dr Snelling’s] horse’s hay, oats etc. 18d, which together makes 4/-. Oh, could it have been imagined that he could have taken anything of me, considering that I paid him £39 for curing my wife, great part of which I paid him before he had it due, and all of it within 5 months after he had performed the cure! I always do and ever did use him after the best manner I was capable of when he was at our house. He was that man that never gave my servants anything, no, not even the meanest trifle that could be. Notwithstanding they always waited on him like as if they were his own servants. Oh, thou blackest of fiends, ingratitude, what an odious color and appearance dost thou make! Oh, may the most ever to be adored Supreme Excellency that sees and views all our most private and secret actions and even knows our most secret thoughts before we bring them into action guide me with his grace that I may never be guilty of that hateful crime, not even so much as to indulge an ungrateful thought!

George Richardson called on us in his way from Dallington to Lewes. I gave him a bill (on account of his master Mr John Madgwick) which I this day drew on Messrs Margesson and Collison… value 10.10.0. In the afternoon my wife went to Mrs Day’s. I went to her about 6:15. We stayed and supped there and played at cards; to wit, at whist, Mrs Day and my wife against Miss Day and myself, so of consequence we lost nothing. Came home about 2:05; we each of us gave the maid 6d. I gave Samuel Hammond 3d for his box.

Sunday, December 28 1755

About 9:15 George Richardson called on us in his way to Dallington. Stayed about 30 minutes. My wife and I both at church in the morning… Gave 2d to a church brief. My wife and I both at church in the afternoon… While we were at church my brother Moses came and came to church and after churchtime drank tea with us. Just as we were drinking tea, Dr Snelling came in, as did two Halland men. Dr Snelling cut me a seton and stayed all night. My brother and Halland two men went away about 7:50.

Saturday, December 27 1755

At home all day. Delivered in Mrs Coates’s bill (by her boy) to the 25th December… Gave away to boys for their Christmas box 21d as under:

To James Fuller              0.1.0

to Ben Mott                  0.0.6

to John Barnard              0.0.3

Paid Joseph Durrant 2d for 1 peck turnips. My brother William went away after breakfast for Framfield. Our maid went to her friends’. In the evening I wrote out several bills.

Friday, December 26 1755

About 11 o’clock my brother William came to see us and dined with us. After dinner I went down to Jones’s (it being a meeting of the parish for choosing of surveyors). The company there was J. French, T. and J. Fuller, Edward and Richard Hope, J. Watford and son, T. Reeve, J. Durrant, W. Rice, W. Piper, J. Burgess, J. Hutson, J. Cayley and Robert Hook. The surveyors chosen for the year 1756 were John Cayley and Robert Hook; the electioners [or alternate], Joseph Durrant and James Hutson. I stayed there about 2 hours; came home about 5:30. About 6:30 William Piper, T. and J. Fuller and P. Adams came in here from the parish meeting. Peter Adams, went away directly. Joseph Fuller went away about 7:30 very much in liquor. About 9:30 I went home with William Piper and Thomas Fuller as far as Mr Piper’s.

Thursday, December 25 1755

Being Christmas day my wife and I both at church in the morning, the text Hebrews 9:26: “but now once in the end of the world hath he appeared to put away sin by the sacrifice of himself.” My wife and I stayed the communion; gave, each of us, 6d. At home all day. On reading Derham’s notes on Boyle’s lectures I find he says that Mr Boyle demonstrates that so slender a wire may be drawn from gold that from one ounce of gold a wire may be drawn 777,600 feet in length or 155 miles and a half [!]. In the evening Thomas Davy here and supped with us and stayed till 11 o’clock but drank nothing, only 1 pint of mild beer. We read Smart’s poems on immensity, conscience and power.

Wednesday, December 24 1755

At home all day. Rec’d of Joseph Fuller 1 leg mutton, 6½ lbs at 3d, 0.1.7½. Rec’d of butcher Bonwick 1 lot of beef; the weight I do not know. Paid Will Harvey 18d for making 3 cotton waistcoats… Paid John Jenner of Hailsham… 21/- in full for hats rec’d of him today as under:

3 hats at 3/6                 0.10.6

3 ditto at 2/-                0.6.0

1 ditto at                   0.4.6

Dr Snelling called on us in his journey to Ticehurst, but did not get off his horse. In the evening wrote out Peter Adams’s bill amounting to 8.16.1½, Mr Thomas Reeve’s bill amounting to l.17.10¼. Gave a carter 2 oz tobacco for bringing 2 cheeses from Lewes for me. Gave Jenner’s boy 6d for his box.

Tuesday, December 23 1755

At home all day. Rec’d of William Sinden ½ bushel of wheat. In the afternoon my brother Moses brought me 2 cheeses. Mrs Fuller, wife of Joseph Fuller, drank tea with us. I gave a carter 3d for bringing a few things from Lewes. In the evening posted my day book. Wrote out Mr Xt. [Christopher] Coates’s bill amounting to 3.6.6¼; Mr Jeremiah French’s bill amounting to 31.15.4¾ and John Vine Jr’s bill amounting to 13.12.0¼… Reading the 135th number in The Guardian I find the following sayings of Plato very just (to wit): Being told he had many enemies who spoke ill of him, “‘Tis no matter,” said he, “I’ll live so that none shall believe ‘em.” Hearing, another time that an intimate friend of his had spoken detractingly of him “I am sure he would not do it,” says he, “if he had not some reason for it.” This is the surest as well as the noblest way of drawing the sting out of a reproach and a true method of preparing a man for that great and only relief against the pains of calumny, a good conscience… [54 words omitted]… Paid for butter 12d.